Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Individual Family Service Plan Day.....UGH!!!!

i don't know what i was thinking when i woke up this morning.  i did a little shopping, even baked cookies for the meeting!  i wasn't even dreading it one little bit!  i was looking forward to ALL of wyatt's favorite people (his therapists) being here together!   you see, i think that wyatt is doing terrific!   sure, i want him to walk....desperately!   i want him to talk more.....desperately!  i just forgot that he is doing HIS little world.   not out there in the "typical" world.....on the typical milestone charts~UGH!!!!

and then they started talking about what he's doing now, and what their goals are for him for the next 6 months.   wow.  i knew, but didn't realize how far he lags developmentally.   i don't take him in the church nursery much, because he gets sick every time we go there.....  so i forget how far behind the other kids his age he is.  

we started with his physical therapist, joanna.   she wants him to walk.  that has been her goal for him since.....forever it seems like!   so in the gross motor area he is developmentally 12-13 months.   occupational therapist, shelley, scored him developmentally at 18 months for fine motor skills, and 15 months for self-help skills.  self-help is rated low mainly because he does not consistently drink from a cup....because he is still nursing.   so some of her goals for him are to drink from a cup and draw circles and lines.  

"i am so bored!"
speech therapist, kenalyn, scored his expressive speech level at 17 months, and his receptive speech at 20 months.   she wants to hear more from him...more sounds, more words, more signs.....more, more, more!  me too!    i feel like he expresses a lot of frustration through hitting, biting, and fit-pitching because he cannot communicate his needs and desires.    

his developmental specialist, vicki, scored him at 21 months socially (he takes after me!) and cognitively at 19 months.   her goals for him include identifying 30+ objects and pictures by pointing to them, and putting together 3-6 piece puzzles.  (he DOES NOT LIKE puzzles!)    and he needs to stop throwing things!!!!!   seriously!!!!  

but wait, there's i mention that he has had a little more open mouth posture lately, with some tongue protrusion...when he is tired mainly.  someone says that might be because he is still nursing, which uses different tongue movements, etc.   and, well, maybe that nursing is affecting some of his ear infections/fluid in his ears.  maybe the eustachian tubes with low tone and nursing are combining to cause some of his issues.   UGH!!!!       oh, and i forgot to add that his developmentalist and his speech therapist both believe that he needs the bone conduction hearing aid again......just to be safe, since he's having so many issues..... UGH!!!     

so i cried.  and i've cried all afternoon.  i cried through lunch with donna....i'm sure she wishes that we had chosen a different day to have lunch together!  (not really!) lol!   i cried to tim, telling him everything over the phone.  i cried when anna called to check on me.  i cried when larramie called to check on me.   i cried when my mom asked "does anyone else think he should be walking?"   (which she asks basically every day)...... mom, nobody wants him to be walking......UGH!!!!!   

it's been a long day, and now my power is out and i am getting hot.....a very long day.......


  1. I know how those days feel as I have had some of them recently. Just know that you are all doing a great job...and Wyatt is doing great. :)

  2. Penny, don't let them steal your thunder.

    Nursing is not causing tongue protrusion. Matter of fact it helps with it. When he is dropping it, push it back in and remind him to close his mouth. Work with him in a mimicking manner. Stick your tongue out and then bring it back in and tightly close your lips. Then let Wyatt mimic you. That is what we did.

    The fluid in his ears is not nursing related either, some kids just have more trouble with fluid. Sometimes tubes help, sometimes it doesn't. Age and time will definitely help.

    The "professionals" and their timelines and wants mean NOTHING. Wyatt will achieve when he is darn good and ready and not a moment before.

    I have never let the opinions of professionals upset me. I know Joseph is delayed, their age ranges mean nothing to me. You know why? Because I am a good mom doing all I can with him, more than any therapist can in one hour a day once a week and Joseph is doing great. And you know what else, Penny?

    YOU ARE A FABULOUS MOM. DO NOT for one minute let anyone sway you in your attachment parenting techniques. Wyatt will be fine, he will achieve and succeed and continue to amaze you. I promise you that. Love conquers all, even therapy.

    I love you Penny, don't shed any more tears over what the "professionals" say. Instead, keep loving Wyatt, keep exposing him to his world, read to him, nurse him, breathe in his smells, let him rest at your breast in sweet comfort. This too shall pass, before you know it.

  3. Penny my heart breaks that you, our special international online club's most ferocious supporter in all of our hours of need, should be hurting. Jaime Kay has never been formally assessed - we face this in less than a month for the very first time... I am praying for you - you are strong, Penny - it will all be good - we'll look back on these early years and smile! Hug that darling little boy!

  4. oh Penny....oneplustwins said it all!! She is one wise momma. Heed her encouraging words, after many of your "professionals" even have children, let alone a child with that little something extra. Please know that you and your family are loved by many. Don't let "professionals" steal your JOY! XOX

  5. I don't know who you are Martha, but thanks for the support of my perspective :)

  6. Completely agreeing with what Christie says. Well, you now my thoughts on nursing and ear infections and whatnot. Wyatt IS doing terrific and he is doing so because of YOU and because of his determination. The professionals are there for guidance and goals can be good to have. It gives everyone a common things to reach for. The thing is, your goals and the professionals' goals may not be the same as Wyatt's! I love very much! You will be hearing me cry in September :-P

  7. I am sorry that you are going through a rough patch with Wy. River has been in preschool since last Sept, and this year he will be going to inclusion preschool 2 days a week, and then to the public special day program 5 days a week. You know what they have evaluated River as being still at the age of 3? 18 months to 2 years. Only on one or two things has he been evaluated as 2.5 years. For the IEP it is a bit different though cuz he was evaluated by a group of "professionals" who didn't know him and had never met him before. His teacher that had been our in home teacher, and his preschool teacher, and one other teacher from his class came to the IEP though and said that he acts just like his peers at preschool... so, who ya gonna listen to? I think any problem that he experiences so far largely is due to lack of experience. He has not been exposed to matching colors alot, or identifying pictures, but the boy catches on quick, and he tries to talk and has always used inflection when jargoning, but the form of his words is a bit lacking. Anyway.... I hope God takes away your worry, or sadness, cuz its not worth it. Maybe Wyatt needs to be around other little kids that are walking so he'll want to walk. He'll get tired of sitting on the sidelines. Maybe he already is around alot of kids and I have no idea what I am talking about. I do know that in our situation that up until recently River has not been ready to do alot of things like matching, or colors, etc. If I would have tried to push that before it would have been a waste of my time, and I choose to enjoy him right where he is. Good luck!