i was having lunch yesterday with the small group of ladies that i have truly come to depend on for support in this unexpected journey, and i asked them "when does it really sink in?" i still feel like there are days that it's just not real that wyatt has Down syndrome, if that makes sense. these ladies are a little bit further along in the Ds journey than i am, and i asked, "was it when your son started public school, or was it when he started preschool?" i was thinking that it might be when they are in school setting with other kids and it's more apparent, maybe that's when it "sinks" in.....
my friend kristen told me that the mother of a 37 year old son with Ds told her that there are STILL days that she cries for him.....hmmm, maybe she cries for how hard life has been, maybe for the fact that she is aging and will leave him behind.....who knows, but i guess i just assumed that one day there will be no more sadness, as we adapt to the new normal that having a child with Ds is. not to say that we don't KNOW that our kiddos have Ds, but the full realization of it just seems to come in bits and pieces. hmmmmm....it's probably best that way. i do agree with the "welcome to holland poem......" where it says "And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss." i'm not saying that i will never be happy....i am happy, more days than not! but it was reassuring to know that it's not just me that has sad days every now and then!
if we knew everything to expect, and knew exactly how we would deal/cope with it.....would we need God? i think we would rely more on our own abilities, thinking we could handle everything....instead of HAVING to trust God....each and every step of the way! day by day, minute by minute......
I know in my head that Lily has Ds, but I really don't think about it all that much. I do, however, think it will be a little more on my mind soon when all the IEP stuff starts in about 2 months.
ReplyDeleteI am rarely sad about Ds. Once in while, I shed a tear or two thinking about how society thinks about it though.
You are an AWESOME mommy!!
Penny, you just don't know how much I needed to read this today. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteAmber T.
We were chosen to be on this Ds journey. Just like any journey, there are highs and lows. Sometimes I think about how far I have come since the early days of our prenatal diagnosis. It puts any sad feelings I have now in perspective. I have gone from complete devastation to daily thanking God for putting Evan and Down syndrome in my life.
ReplyDeleteHUG! Because no matter how you feel, you can be sure you are NOT alone! I just think of the wonderful people I have had the honor of meeting on this journey and feel blessed. I am grateful you shared!
ReplyDeletePenny,
ReplyDeleteWhile I cannot relate to your specific journey with DS, your blog posts minister to me in many ways. Thanks for being so transparent in your posts.
Love you,
Donna