|jane's beautiful daughter hannah, |
the day of her first communion!
LETTER TO MY DAUGHTERS TEACHER(S)
(I know that everyone has problems. This is a consideration of THIS problem.)
Please take a moment to imagine that my child is YOUR child.
Think about what it is like to live the life of the parent of a child with "special needs." Please understand, this life is not a bad life. It is a good life. But it is, at times, very difficult. Difficult in ways not thought of by people who don't live it.
Just for a moment---live this life. This is YOUR child. A very lovable, wonderful child. A beautiful child whom you love very, very much. But EVERY day when you send her off to school, you do not know what to expect. And sometimes, when the day is over, and things have not gone well, you have NO IDEA what to do about it.
You know you have a "special" child. A child who, in many ways, has exceeded all expectations. You also have a child who sometimes has behaviors which cause problems for her teachers, sometimes her peers, and most importantly, impede her own success and happiness.
And you never know FOR SURE if she has a real understanding of the appropriate behavior you are trying to teach.
Therefore you have no idea if you are doing the right things. You are even pretty sure that you have sometimes done the wrong things.
You have probably not done things that might have helped, maybe even done things that made matters worse. You have missed opportunities.
All you ever want is to make life better for this child. To help her reach her full potential----the same thing every parent wants for their child. But it is SO much harder to know HOW to do this---you don't even know what her potential is.
Sometimes you are afraid you expect too much. Often you are sure you expect too little.
And you never, EVER, know.
Some may say that NO parent ever really knows. ----of course that is true.
But, it is NOT THE SAME.
Sometimes it is very hard for you---the teacher. That is why I ask you to try to imagine our shoes. You have her for part of the day, for the span of one year. And then you move on.
This is our life. Every single hour of every single day. Yes, even when she is with you, she is with us.
For a lifetime.
We love our daughter very (VERY) much. We are not looking for anyone to feel sorry for us.
But, we would hope that you can have some understanding.
We particularly hope that you will try to understand if, sometimes, it seems that we question EVERYTHING that you do. In fact, we probably do----it is not meant to offend.
We also, question EVERY thing that WE do.