Saturday, October 16, 2010

31 for 21: Day16 But He Doesn't "Look" Like He Has Down Syndrome....

last night was our buddy walk t-shirt party.  there weren't too many people there, but 2 of my best local Ds friends were there with their husbands and their kiddos, and we had a blast!  it is so fun to be with friends who are sharing this unexpected journey, who fully understand what you're going through!  make no mistake, i have other best friends, friends who don't have a child with Ds, and as much as they love, support and listen to me, they don't know what it's like to have a child of their own with Ds!   i know that i am truly blessed to have SO many friends who encourage us!

as we were talking last night, i mentioned that i recently saw a baby with Ds out shopping, as i blogged about earlier this week.  my friend jessica laughingly looked at her husband and remarked on how when annabella was born, she didn't really look like she had Ds.  and she was always kind of surprised, maybe a little sensitive, when someone recognized and commented about her daughter having Ds.   i know exactly what she means.  when wyatt was born, he looked just like our other boys, seriously.  while waiting on his karyotype, i tried to convince myself that he didn't have Ds, because he didn't "look" like he had Ds!   i couldn't imagine how anyone could recognize that he had Ds!

all three couples then started talking about how our young kids seem to be "growing into" looking like they have Ds.  sometimes it's just a certain look they have, a lot of times it's when they're tired.  does it matter?  no...they have Down syndrome....whether they look like it or not!  it's just good to know that we're not alone in our myriad of feelings about our kiddos and their Down syndrome.....feelings that change frequently....often set off by the innocent comment of a stranger.....


  1. I know EXACTLY what you mean. When Lily was born everybody kept saying- are you sure she has ds? even my kids. The older she gets, the more she has "the look." And it is when she's tired- have you figured out why that is? I have had several strangers tell me after I told them that she has ds, "OH, I could tell." I don't need to tell you the "ouch" that brought in my heart. Does it get easier?

  2. Thank you so much for your kind words on Lily's blog...I am sure we would be fast friends if we lived closer! I don't have FB but would love to email? Thanks again:)

  3. I had to laugh about Patti's comment about people noticing if our kids have Ds. Kinda like the pregnancy question-you never really wanna ask unless you're sure! Some kids have "the look" more than others. some have it more when you look at them from a profile, or when they're tired, or sick. Heck, some kids look like they have Ds-and then I find out they don't!
    I think especially in the beginning, it's nice to hear your child looks like typical children. We all know how hard it is to be "different"! don't we! I can say, for me, it's not that it gets easier necessarily. It's just that my child looking like he has Ds isn't quite so bad anymore? if that makes sense.